Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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