note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
