I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
