Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
