Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
Terrible brother advice.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??