if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
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HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
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Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.