Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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