I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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