don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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