new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
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Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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