He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize