We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
