I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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