going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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