Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize