you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
