this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
