i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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