shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
