I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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