It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
