ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
