i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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