he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do vagina's smell?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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