o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
