Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize