I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
