your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
where are you?
Hypothermia
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
