Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
