Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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