so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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