i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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