He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I sprained my soul last night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
