margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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