Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
