marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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