i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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