a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
