Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
