So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I want her autograph on my taint
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
