I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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