I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Boobs are out for the taking
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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