He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
