She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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