I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.