what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
