bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework