Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt

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  (989): I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt http://tfl.nu/o754
  Replies (7) Good night (2524) Bad night (1044) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes

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  (407): I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes http://tfl.nu/atny
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."

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  (715): In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy." http://tfl.nu/mr96
  Replies (13) Good night (1258) Bad night (3957) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose

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  (717): she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose http://tfl.nu/p9h0
  Replies (32) Good night (13066) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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  (815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt
  Replies (28) Good night (5914) Bad night (1555) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.

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  (513): it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out. http://tfl.nu/ydh3
  Replies (6) Good night (2483) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.

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  (260): ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me. http://tfl.nu/9s81
  Replies (4) Good night (1177) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.

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  (541): Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached. http://tfl.nu/gtou
  Replies (3) Good night (1507) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.

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  (210): She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college. http://tfl.nu/uhbq
  Replies (4) Good night (1982) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me

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  (913): How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways. (913): 1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me http://tfl.nu/tb9a
  Replies (12) Good night (3235) Bad night (553)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming

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  (419): Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming http://tfl.nu/qxd7
  Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.

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  (519): People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style. http://tfl.nu/g3nw
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  "Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.

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  (319): "Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits. http://tfl.nu/zmtn
  Replies (12) Good night (354) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

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  (616): Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night. (402): 20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun http://tfl.nu/qbq0
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (320)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.

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  (+44): Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off. http://tfl.nu/1dmr
  Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (76) Order T-Shirt

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