I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
if only i could text you this smell
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
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Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter