More tranny stories later!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
