i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm really busy with my period
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