please come you make the beer taste better
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
