He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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