We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize