my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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