i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
