I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
