oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
