Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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