I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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